how to eat a ball band....

How to Eat a Ball Band

by Freddy Dog Young

(that's my 'official' name as registered with

Walgreen's Pharmacy where I used to get

my heart medicine.)

 

Step 1.  Stealthily sneak into the trash/yarn basket/pile of knitting on the sofa and select a ball band.  It can already be removed or you can remove it yourself, although I suggest you have a little experience before attempting this latter move.  If you touch the yarn, you can get yourself into BIGGGGGG trouble.  (ask how I know.)

 

Step 2.

Hold the ball band between your front hands paws securely, shorter end facing up.

 

Step 3.

Start with tiny nibbles around the edges, slowly rotating the band between your hands paws.

 

Step 4.

Sometimes it's necessary to get some tongue action involved.  This usually happens when the ball band is particularly thick.

 

Step 5.

EEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!  This band got really, really gummy.  (Thick-paper ball bands are not my favorite.)  Yuck.  It's sticking to the roof of my mouth.  Blech. Oh, my goodness.  This is a LOT of work unsticking it.

Step 6.  

Rest.

 

Step 7.

Ditch this one.  Know going into the process, that not all ball bands are worthy of total annihilation.

This particular one was a total reject.

 

Off to find a tastier one! 
 

AHHHHHH.  Much better.

Begin again....at Step 2.
 

Comments

[Alina]

Oh, Freddy! This is genius and so detailed, I am pinning it! But, uhm, I am soooo NOT showing this tutorial to my dog.

[linda]

OMG! Sooooooo funny! Made my morning. :-)

[Jacqueline Webb]

Oh thanks for the information I will pass it on. Although my dogs don't really chew anything except each other's ears. They end up looking and feeling like chamois leather.

[Andrea @ This Knitted Life]

Last night I was reading Freddy's other post on the Ipad while Reed and I were drifting off to sleep. Reed, ever curious about what I am reading, asked about Freddy. I told him it was Freddy's mom who sent us the post card of the Lobster, but he was clearly confused between who was Freddy and who was you. In the end, he kept coming back to, "how did Freddy draw the lobster?"

Me (on repeat): Freddy didn't draw the lobster. Freddy just mailed the lobster.

[rusty duck]

It sounds like what is needed here is a list. 'Freddy's recommended ball bands' just to save other dogs all the inconvenience of selecting a dud. He must have experienced quite a range of them by now..

[Amber]

Thanks for the tutorial. I will share with my cat Steve, he loves yarn/bands/fabric that has been laid out into a quilt.

My bunny will be contacting you, Freddy, with instructions on eating a remote. He suggests you give one of those a taste. Much chewier than paper.

[Andi]

You are brilliant Freddy!

[Bridget]

I'm glad to have this how-to. I mean, you never know, right? ;-)

[Caffeine Girl]

Freddy, you are such a clever canine!

[Julie]

For some reason I can't quite fathom, I saved every ball band from my knitting career. If Freddy is ever in need, I'd be happy to ship them off to you :)

[Caroline]

Oh Freddy you are a funny fella!

[AsKatKnits]

I am laughing so hard!! Freddy, you are such a character! XO

[karen]

I feel lucky that Frodo doesn't get into mischief but how could he? he's always hiding under the ottoman!