It's a dog's life....

Hi, friends.  Freddy here.  I'm mad at mom.

 

At the moment, I can't even stand the sight of her.

It all started yesterday.  I was outside, doing my morning constitutional, which now takes me a bit longer since I usually have some delicious poopcicles to consumer before even thinking about coming back inside.  The temps fell into the low teens overnight, and I must admit....it was d%&m darn cold out there.  

So, I'm munching away, feeling a tad chilled when I discover that shivering actually makes me feel slightly warmer.  (This would NOT have been a problem if I hadn't recently had a new hair-do.  My matted mane would have served me well in a sub-zero climate....but NOOOOOOO.  I had to go to the groomer a couple weeks ago.)

Anyway, to make a long story short(er)...mom caught me quaking, dragged me inside (where I'm usually quite happy---I'm not an outdoor, he-man kind of guy, believe me....and if she had done a better job of scooping that poop I would never have gotten chilled in the first place), and she immediately ran to the suitcase (that contains all kinds of orphan balls of yarn....I know they are leftovers because I've already eaten most of the ballbands) and started knitting furiously.  

I'm in trouble. I just know it.  When SHE gets cold, she casts on for a sweater.  (Stupid, right?  She should be doing this in the heat of the summer so the sweater is ready for winter, right? But---that's my mom for you.) I feared (this being the so-called, self-proclaimed, Year of the Sweater) that I wasn't going to avoid the clothes-thing much longer.  (I've told you all before.  I HATE CLOTHES.  hate hate hate hate hate hate hate clothes.)

So, a couple hours later, she woke me from a nap, waving this mess around my head.  Something about I had to try-it-on before she knit more. NO WAY.  

I ran under the table.  (I'm actually pretty good at keep-away.) I darted through the living room and dining room and back under the table.  I shimmied under the bed.  (I'm telling you, I'm GOOD at this.)  But, I made a wrong turn and got cornered in the kitchen...and look at what happened.

Drat.  It's going to fit.  It's even a turtle-neck.  And she loves me so much, she's making me a fair isle. (Go ahead.  Try to make me feel guilty.  It's not going to work.)

Luckily, I have a slight reprieve this morning.  She ran out of yarn.  I have some time to rummage through stuff while she's out getting more....if I can just find the pattern,

I know exactly what to do.  (That's the pattern to Dad's favorite sweater that I ate a couple years ago.)  I'm a rather quick study.  THIS time, I'm going to eat mostly black and leave the white.  

And I'm going to pray real hard for a winter warm-up.

Comments

[Tracey]

Oh poor Freddie, but it will keep you warm and you will be so stylish. ;)

[Bridget]

Well, Freddy, it looks like you'll just have to put up with it. On the other hand, you will likely look quite handsome!

[Jennifer]

Sorry, Freddie, she seems to be a woman on a mission.

[Tahnee]

Poor thing, I can only IMAGINE the utter HORROR of someone wanting to keep you warm and knitting you a sweater. Poor poor Freddy, how does he survive?
Seriously though, if my dog wasn't a german shepherd he'd have so much hand knit sweater by now. Actually.. I quite like the idea of a german shepherd in a sweater (with a nice fair isle pattern). Should I?

[[email protected]]

Freddy would feel so much better if he had someone else suffering with him through the horror of clothes.  Go for it!!!

[Leigh]

oh dear Freddie, I am sure you have succeeded in your plan to frustrate your poor mother to no end ; )

[Jennifer Miller]

Hilarious! They have such attitude don't they?

[Www]

Oh what a cutie! Momma knows best!

[Zeta]

Oh Freddy! Why are you running away from fair isle? Haven't your momma taught you better?

[Sara]

oh, Freddy! I don't know who is funnier: you or your mom!

[mari]

Oh Steph...he is just too adorable to be angry at :0) mari

[karen]

Frodo agrees with you Freddy, and if you wear sweaters please please please convince Frodo how wonderful they really are :)

[Annie]

I love how you wrote this. So hilarious! Thanks for a good laugh! (Poor Freddy? Ha ha. Only a dog you reallyreallyreally love could be the inspiration for such a fun post.)

:)