How to Eat a Ball Band
by Freddy Dog Young
(that's my 'official' name as registered with
Walgreen's Pharmacy where I used to get
my heart medicine.)
Step 1. Stealthily sneak into the trash/yarn basket/pile of knitting on the sofa and select a ball band. It can already be removed or you can remove it yourself, although I suggest you have a little experience before attempting this latter move. If you touch the yarn, you can get yourself into BIGGGGGG trouble. (ask how I know.)
Hold the ball band between your front hands paws securely, shorter end facing up.
Start with tiny nibbles around the edges, slowly rotating the band between your hands paws.
Sometimes it's necessary to get some tongue action involved. This usually happens when the ball band is particularly thick.
EEEWWWWWWWWWWWW! This band got really, really gummy. (Thick-paper ball bands are not my favorite.) Yuck. It's sticking to the roof of my mouth. Blech. Oh, my goodness. This is a LOT of work unsticking it.
Ditch this one. Know going into the process, that not all ball bands are worthy of total annihilation.
This particular one was a total reject.
Off to find a tastier one!
AHHHHHH. Much better.
Begin again....at Step 2.