Dearest, darling-est, most favorite Sandy Claws of all time....EVER,
First of all, I really must thank you for all the goodies I found in my stocking last year. I know I should have written my thank-you note just a tad sooner, but you know how life gets in the way sometimes, and I really have a rather busy life. Even though every toy was totally destroyed Christmas day, I still loved every one of them and carried around flat babies for months.
But, let's move on to this year, OK? I've been an exceptionally good boy all year long. I'm writing this a little early, I know, because I'm just not sure how much longer I can be this good!!
There WERE a couple of little incidents---generally not my fault, really. Like the knitting needles. (sigh. I do love to chew them!!!) I only munched four or five so much that they needed to be thrown away...not bad. (Those metal jobs are hard to mess up.) Believe, me, I had lots more opportunities that I didn't take. And anyway, I KNOW mommy wants (make that covets) those Karbonz double points, so I think I was really helping her out here. Now she HAS to have some. (Hope I ate the size she wants.)
I totally left the nativity set alone this year (I couldn't reach it), so the two remaining wisemen are safe and sound. And I haven't had a single M & M (they are too high...I can smell them...I'm being tortured here, Sandy. Take pity, OK?). The tree is still standing. And I didn't unhook the holiday hooked rug. (Mommy was super mad the year I unhooked the pillow. See? I learned. I'm becoming pretty perfect in my old-er age.)
Now, the catalogs were totally NOT my fault. Everyone knows I LOVE (love love love love love) to chew paper. Nor were the labels I removed from all those yarn balls. Or the special, multipage (expensive!!) pattern that I turned into confetti. I also sort of munched on the labels for that charity hat project....oh, it was just paper. This doesn't really put me on the naughty list, does it?
I didn't chase any many birds or rabbits, and certainly didn't catch any. (hee, hee...Frodo, I bet you can't say the same thing!) I ran away from home only once---and I didn't go far. (I was looking for mom. Why doesn't she stay next to me???) I dug under the fence a couple times---that doesn't count, though. (I hope.)
I didn't steal any money from mommy's friends' purses (I got a $20 bill once!), and I didn't chew up any of her friends sunglasses--this year. (Her friends are actually very well trained and never leave their bags where I can get them.) I only chewed a hole through one of mommy's purses, but it was her fault....leaving a whole candy bar in there!
I NEVER beg for food. (Granted, I usually just try to help myself. You know it's much better to ask for forgiveness than permission.)
So, you see. All in all, it's been a pretty fine year for me. I hope you have lots of toys for me. Just in case you have forgotten, my stocking is the handknit one that hangs next to my food dish.
It's the one with the chewed hole in the toe.
Love and lots of slobbery kisses,